The Perils of Provo:

When I first decided to move back to Provo, after spending almost a year convinced that I would never go back there, I decided that it would be in my best interest to adopt a strictly asocial  lifestyle upon my return. So far, I have done an exceptional job doing so.

The point was never to avoid having a social life, but to avoid trying to have a social life. Having lived in Provo before, I knew exactly what I was getting myself into and, after an unnaturally stressful summer, I just wasn't in a position to deal with it. Historically, actively/consciously pursuing specific friendships has never amounted to anything. The people I end up being friends with are generally people that I never had to try to be friends with.

Being transplanted into a new social setting is never exactly fun, but I've found that I'm generally happier in new social settings if I simply embrace the fact that I have no friends. Once I've gotten my bearings and assessed the various aspects of my new environment, it's usually not very hard to switch into awesome mode.

It might be time to switch into awesome mode.

The Song of the Sea:

I'm not sure that I can adequately explain the significance of a seagull's call, or the importance of the way that it glides through the air. But, it's almost like the fate of the world depends on it.

Adventures:

Adventures are always more fun if you get lost. The more lost you get,  the better.

Forest Fires:

I oftentimes find myself amazed by the ridiculousness of certain commercials. Every now and then, I'll come across a commercial that implies that by purchasing a particular product, or using a certain service, a person will encounter a variety of unrelated, positive consequences. Such as advertisements that imply that by switching birth control methods, a female will become both more attractive and more happy. Though, there are a number of different types of ridiculous things that commercials can imply. 

And, apparently, even public service announcements occasionally get in on the action. 

Today, while watching Hulu, I learned that humans cause nine out of ten wildfires. The other one out of ten are caused by dragons that breath green fire. Who would've thought?

Writing:

I find that writer's block is more like writer's constipation. Very few things compare to the sense of satisfaction that comes after the writing blockage has passed and everything begins to move freely again...

Girls:

When I was in high school, the only thing that girls were good for was for flirting with. Since then, I've stopped flirting with girls. Now girls serve no clear purpose in my life.

Sitting:

A long time ago, when I was in high school, I had to write bio's about myself for the various choir and theater arts productions that I was in. My friends and I always looked forward to making up the most ridiculous things that we could think of to put in the short blurbs about ourselves. We may or may not have always told the truth.

One of my favorite bio writing moments was when I claimed to be a Tetris Grandmaster (which, coincidentally, I am).

Another favorite moment was when I explained that I enjoy recreational sitting, and that I was considering, someday, venturing into competitive sitting.

At the time, anybody who knew me would've known that the first part was true (and frankly, still is). However, very few people truly understood how great of a competitive sitter I could be. Even I had my doubts, though they were marginal.

However, the other day, I proved my mettle. The plan was to go to the Seattle Institute of Religion and sit until I got bored. Then, I figured I'd come up with something else to do and go do it. I arrived at 10:30 am. I sat down on a couch. I stayed on that couch (and in the exact same spot on the couch) for seven hours and thirty-five minutes, getting up only to throw away my gum and a granola bar wrapper in a trash can that was just out of my reach from my seat. I finally abandoned my seat because I needed to go move my car to the other side of the road, and because it was dinner time and I was hungry.

If it weren't for my car and my lack of dinner food, I could have stayed there for days. I may have to seriously look into this competitive sitting thing.