Meals:

I believe in eating meals in sequential order. It doesn't matter what time the meals are eaten, or what food is consumed. Merely the order.

The first thing I eat, is always breakfast. Never mind if the first thing I eat is eaten at three in the afternoon, or if I happen to have a bowl of ramen noodles (or candy). It's still breakfast.

The second meal is always lunch. Even if I have it at 11:30 in the morning, or 5:30 in the evening. Lunchiness is a product of a meal's ordinal location in a meal schedule, not in a meal's proximity to the noon hour.

Similarly, an "afternoon snack" is characterized by it's location between lunch and dinner. It doesn't matter how much is eaten, or what time of day it is. Merely that it is eaten between lunch and dinner.

Dinner is eaten after lunch, usually (but not always) after an afternoon snack.

Food eaten after dinner is a little bit more complicated. If the food is in the form of a "traditional" meal, than it is Dinner #2. If it is not a traditional meal, than it is dubbed an "after dinner snack." After dinner snacks include all types of food (desserts or non-desserts).

In the event that even more food is consumed after an after dinner snack (or Dinner #2), it becomes yet more complicated. If the extra food resembles a "traditional" meal, and is preceded by Dinner #2, than it is Dinner #3. If Dinner #2 has not get been eaten, than the meal is designated Dinner #2 (even if an after dinner snack has already been eaten).

If the food constitutes a snack and not a meal, than it is an after dinner snack. If an after dinner snack has already been eaten, than this second snack is considered a continuation of the first snack (unless Dinner #2 was consumed between the two snacks, then the second snack is rightfully labelled an After Dinner Snack #2).

The system continues on indefinitely. In the event that I pulled an all-nighter, food consumption labeling would continue in the Dinner #""/After Dinner Snack #"" pattern until I went to sleep.

Before you try to tell me that this system is ridiculous, unnecessary, illogical, or otherwise complicated, let me remind you: I am an American. That means I can do whatever I want, and call it whatever I want. And, that's just a fact of life.

Umbrellas:

So, I bought an umbrella the other day. And, to be entirely honest, I'm rather ashamed about it. You see, buying an umbrella (let alone using one) is a sin against my Northwest Washington nature. It goes against everything I believe in, and may even qualify as an act of high treason.

It rains a lot in Washington. And, we deal with it. Outdoor activities are rarely scheduled counting on good weather. In fact, outdoor activities are rarely canceled due to rain. Rain is simply a fact of life.

People in Washington don't actually use umbrellas. Most of the time, we don't even use hoods when it's raining. It rains. People get wet. And, we get over it.

However, Washington rain is very drizzly. Every now and then we'll get a good downpour, but it is extremely uncommon. When it drizzles, it takes a considerable amount of time to actually get noticeably wet when being exposed to the rain. When it pours, we tend to just get soaked. The fact that an umbrella could have kept us dry is entirely irrelevant. We just don't use them.

But, now I find myself living in Provo. It takes me about twenty minutes to walk to school. Under normal conditions, I would have no problems with getting soaked on my way to school when it's raining. However, I also go to church on campus.

I have minor problems with getting soaked while I'm wearing a suit, on my way to church. So I bought an umbrella.

And, now I feel like a traitor.

Fears:

I find that I have a perfectly rational fear of people believing that my actions are motivated by irrational impulses.

My Day Off:

Some days, I just sit around and wallow in my desire to sit around and wallow all day. Do I have things that I need to get done? Of course. Do I care at the moment? Nope.

Instead, I'm thoroughly enjoying lazing around my apartment as stress oozes out of my ears. The decreasing internal pressure of my psyche is kind of like a drug. Except, I'm willing to man up to my addiction. I wouldn't be able to stop if I tried.

Sometimes, once the stress starts oozing, all you can do is sit back and wait for it to finish.

The Perils of Provo:

When I first decided to move back to Provo, after spending almost a year convinced that I would never go back there, I decided that it would be in my best interest to adopt a strictly asocial  lifestyle upon my return. So far, I have done an exceptional job doing so.

The point was never to avoid having a social life, but to avoid trying to have a social life. Having lived in Provo before, I knew exactly what I was getting myself into and, after an unnaturally stressful summer, I just wasn't in a position to deal with it. Historically, actively/consciously pursuing specific friendships has never amounted to anything. The people I end up being friends with are generally people that I never had to try to be friends with.

Being transplanted into a new social setting is never exactly fun, but I've found that I'm generally happier in new social settings if I simply embrace the fact that I have no friends. Once I've gotten my bearings and assessed the various aspects of my new environment, it's usually not very hard to switch into awesome mode.

It might be time to switch into awesome mode.

The Song of the Sea:

I'm not sure that I can adequately explain the significance of a seagull's call, or the importance of the way that it glides through the air. But, it's almost like the fate of the world depends on it.

Adventures:

Adventures are always more fun if you get lost. The more lost you get,  the better.