Sunday, February 12, 2012
Sunday, October 9, 2011
Paradigms:
The other day I happened to watch the last 30 minutes, or so, of (500) Days of Summer. As weird as it may sound, as a result, I learned a number of life lessons.
1. Considering my personal disapproval of one of the most significant traits of Summer (the season) (i.e. the heat), I find it extremely [unfair?] to cast Zooey Deschanel in a title role, where her character's name happens to be Summer. Especially when that character fits into the story, loosely, as "the one that got away." Fate 9,542,089,938; Thane 1 and 3/5.
2. I finally realized that I am actually as old as I act. Or, rather, I am as old as I should be acting--and am fully capable of acting. My entire life, I've always been the freakishly "responsible" kid, who got along as well with adults as I did with my peers (if not a little better). Grownups loved me. Not only because I was an oddly respectable kid who didn't get into trouble, but because I was the kind of kid who had the potential to become somebody.
Telling a kid that he's abnormally mature for his age doesn't really mean that much at the time. If anything, it's a simple recognition that he doesn't live up to the potential for idiocy that his youth qualifies him for. Truth be told, kids (and teenagers) really don't have that many responsibilities. In fact, their only real responsibility is to not screw up their life so bad that they can't fix it when they get older. (Which is extremely important, it just doesn't compete with the sorts of responsibilities that adults have to live up to on a daily basis). The statement that adults mean as a compliment is--in reality--more of an investment in the kid's future than anything else.
You see, most kids who are unusually responsible/mature for their age never have an opportunity to live up to their potential while in their youth. They're kids. And, they know that they are just kids. And, everybody else knows that they are just kids. Being responsible and mature, for a kid, means that they don't get into trouble (or, at least, not as much as they could). And, that's about it.
All of that said, I have not yet managed to live up to my potential. Since I got back from my mission three years ago, I assimilated as well as I could into college life. I assumed that was what I was supposed to do. The lifestyle at BYU allows for the reality that some male students don't begin their college careers until after they return from their missions. As a freshman, I was--naturally--mature when compared to freshmen who had just graduated from high school, but that was about it. As a recently returned missionary, I was still getting accustomed to regular life. I used my fellow BYU students as models of how I should act.
The problem is, most male BYU students--though more mature than their younger counterparts at other universities--are not nearly as well-grounded as their actual peers. Yes, missionaries gain important life experiences on their missions that help them develop their sense of responsibility and their ability to live up to that responsibility; but when they get home, it is extremely difficult for them to not pick up--socially--more or less where they left off two years previously. While still attending college, it is very hard not to act and feel like an average college student, even if most people your age have graduated and are starting their careers.
As it turns out, I am, in fact, twenty-four years old. I am at a point in my life where my age finally allows me to live up to my potential. I may still be in college but that is no excuse not to start living like the adult that I am.
3. Also, while watching the movie, I became fully aware of the type of adult that I want to be. There are certain ideals that the more salient parts of my personality are well suited for. While not necessary for me to be a well-functioning, successful, and content human being, it would be impossible for me to live up to my full potential if I did not cultivate those attributes which are most important to me in the process. In short, while watching the movie, I was given a glimpse of the person that I need to become in order to have a fulfilling early adulthood.
How I managed to get that vision out of the movie, I may never know.
4. Finally, the movie served as a reminder of a few of the things that I have come to value most in life. Insofar as the emotional struggle that the main character (played by that one guy) endures serves as a general outline for the most persistent and obnoxious failures in my life, I am particularly able to appreciate and to sympathize with the lessons that he learned along the course of the movie. Ultimately, I have come to highly value honesty and openness in my relationships with other people. Communication is important. Having the guts to do what is right and necessary to try to cultivate it is extremely important to me.
Having no one of importance with whom to exercise such honesty (though the story-line of the movie serves as the emotional epitome of my life, it is also happens to be a million time more interesting than my life has ever actually been), I am prone to forget how valuable it is to me. It would be a shame if I don't remember it when I finally find an opportunity to do so.
1. Considering my personal disapproval of one of the most significant traits of Summer (the season) (i.e. the heat), I find it extremely [unfair?] to cast Zooey Deschanel in a title role, where her character's name happens to be Summer. Especially when that character fits into the story, loosely, as "the one that got away." Fate 9,542,089,938; Thane 1 and 3/5.
2. I finally realized that I am actually as old as I act. Or, rather, I am as old as I should be acting--and am fully capable of acting. My entire life, I've always been the freakishly "responsible" kid, who got along as well with adults as I did with my peers (if not a little better). Grownups loved me. Not only because I was an oddly respectable kid who didn't get into trouble, but because I was the kind of kid who had the potential to become somebody.
Telling a kid that he's abnormally mature for his age doesn't really mean that much at the time. If anything, it's a simple recognition that he doesn't live up to the potential for idiocy that his youth qualifies him for. Truth be told, kids (and teenagers) really don't have that many responsibilities. In fact, their only real responsibility is to not screw up their life so bad that they can't fix it when they get older. (Which is extremely important, it just doesn't compete with the sorts of responsibilities that adults have to live up to on a daily basis). The statement that adults mean as a compliment is--in reality--more of an investment in the kid's future than anything else.
You see, most kids who are unusually responsible/mature for their age never have an opportunity to live up to their potential while in their youth. They're kids. And, they know that they are just kids. And, everybody else knows that they are just kids. Being responsible and mature, for a kid, means that they don't get into trouble (or, at least, not as much as they could). And, that's about it.
All of that said, I have not yet managed to live up to my potential. Since I got back from my mission three years ago, I assimilated as well as I could into college life. I assumed that was what I was supposed to do. The lifestyle at BYU allows for the reality that some male students don't begin their college careers until after they return from their missions. As a freshman, I was--naturally--mature when compared to freshmen who had just graduated from high school, but that was about it. As a recently returned missionary, I was still getting accustomed to regular life. I used my fellow BYU students as models of how I should act.
The problem is, most male BYU students--though more mature than their younger counterparts at other universities--are not nearly as well-grounded as their actual peers. Yes, missionaries gain important life experiences on their missions that help them develop their sense of responsibility and their ability to live up to that responsibility; but when they get home, it is extremely difficult for them to not pick up--socially--more or less where they left off two years previously. While still attending college, it is very hard not to act and feel like an average college student, even if most people your age have graduated and are starting their careers.
As it turns out, I am, in fact, twenty-four years old. I am at a point in my life where my age finally allows me to live up to my potential. I may still be in college but that is no excuse not to start living like the adult that I am.
3. Also, while watching the movie, I became fully aware of the type of adult that I want to be. There are certain ideals that the more salient parts of my personality are well suited for. While not necessary for me to be a well-functioning, successful, and content human being, it would be impossible for me to live up to my full potential if I did not cultivate those attributes which are most important to me in the process. In short, while watching the movie, I was given a glimpse of the person that I need to become in order to have a fulfilling early adulthood.
How I managed to get that vision out of the movie, I may never know.
4. Finally, the movie served as a reminder of a few of the things that I have come to value most in life. Insofar as the emotional struggle that the main character (played by that one guy) endures serves as a general outline for the most persistent and obnoxious failures in my life, I am particularly able to appreciate and to sympathize with the lessons that he learned along the course of the movie. Ultimately, I have come to highly value honesty and openness in my relationships with other people. Communication is important. Having the guts to do what is right and necessary to try to cultivate it is extremely important to me.
Having no one of importance with whom to exercise such honesty (though the story-line of the movie serves as the emotional epitome of my life, it is also happens to be a million time more interesting than my life has ever actually been), I am prone to forget how valuable it is to me. It would be a shame if I don't remember it when I finally find an opportunity to do so.
Wednesday, July 27, 2011
Guitars:
Living in Provo has made me extremely musically deprived. I don't have convenient access to a piano at the apartment that I currently live in, and I absolutely refuse to bring my acoustic guitar down from Washington as long as I'm living with roommates. My guitar isn't anything particularly special; it's definitely not a Martin or anything like that, but it's still nice enough that it's going to stay at home until I get my own place.
I have a harmonica, but it's buried in a box somewhere under my bed. I really just don't want to have to deal with confused roommates walking in on me while I'm practicing it...for some reason that just seems unnecessarily awkward. Harmonicas are cool if you know what you're doing, but people tend look at you really funny if you don't.
However, I have discovered a solution to my musical dilemmas. What I really need is an electric guitar. Not only are electric guitars more compact and harder for roommates (and their friends) to break, but people generally don't touch other people's electric guitars. It's kind of weird, but it's the truth. Also, electric guitars are significantly easier to play than acoustic guitars, which should help me get better at guitar a lot faster than if I were only practicing on an acoustic.
Also, as weird as it may sound: electric guitars can be played quietly. Strange, huh?
Now, I just need enough money to pick up a cheap guitar and amp...
Saturday, June 25, 2011
Smells like Utah:
It has finally started to smell like Utah. And, to feel like Utah. Summer has finally set in.
Summer. The bane of my existence.
Most people's seasonal depression revolves around Winter. Mine kicks in the moment that it gets above 75 degrees. I honestly can't wait to go home in August, just because it will be cold and cloudy when I get there.
Of course, when I return to Utah a few weeks later, it will still be Summer. And will be--most likely--until November.
Stupid deserts.
Though, at least, come "Fall" I'll have A/C in my apartment.
Stupid deserts.
Thursday, May 19, 2011
Grey Sky Morning:
The weather has been absolutely amazing the last few days. Overcast skies. Occasional rain showers. The ground is wet. The air is humid. Sun breaks.
I've been couped up in my apartment most of the week, but whenever I find an excuse to go outside, it makes me extremely happy. Oh, Washington, why did I have to leave you?
I've been couped up in my apartment most of the week, but whenever I find an excuse to go outside, it makes me extremely happy. Oh, Washington, why did I have to leave you?
Saturday, May 14, 2011
The Worst Dream Ever:
The other night I had the worst dream ever. For the sake of coherency (because my dreams are typically incoherent), I'll give an overview:
The girl who plays Quinn on "Glee" (who happens to be a year old than me...) was attending BYU (and was presumably also LDS). We had a class together. There was a definite possibility that she was interested in me.
As the dream ended and I started regaining consciousness, I became aware of the fact that I had only been dreaming. In a sleepy, half-conscious haze I willed myself to go back to sleep, unable to deal with harsh reality that I had dreamed the whole thing.
I spent the next few hours waking up occasionally (it was definitely time for me to get out of bed and start my day), sleepily refusing to deal with the lameness of my life, and half-consciously willing myself to go back to sleep. Eventually, I decided that I really need to get out of bed and cope with my overly uninteresting life.
The only way to describe the rest of that day was "extra-sucky." I mean, really, how on earth is any girl supposed to live up to that kind of standard, and how am I supposed to look forward to a life with a girl that can't?
Okay, that's not entirely true. Realistically, I have known a few girls that can live up to that standard. But, so far, they've only ever existed to taunt me.
Hence, worst dream ever.
The girl who plays Quinn on "Glee" (who happens to be a year old than me...) was attending BYU (and was presumably also LDS). We had a class together. There was a definite possibility that she was interested in me.
As the dream ended and I started regaining consciousness, I became aware of the fact that I had only been dreaming. In a sleepy, half-conscious haze I willed myself to go back to sleep, unable to deal with harsh reality that I had dreamed the whole thing.
I spent the next few hours waking up occasionally (it was definitely time for me to get out of bed and start my day), sleepily refusing to deal with the lameness of my life, and half-consciously willing myself to go back to sleep. Eventually, I decided that I really need to get out of bed and cope with my overly uninteresting life.
The only way to describe the rest of that day was "extra-sucky." I mean, really, how on earth is any girl supposed to live up to that kind of standard, and how am I supposed to look forward to a life with a girl that can't?
Okay, that's not entirely true. Realistically, I have known a few girls that can live up to that standard. But, so far, they've only ever existed to taunt me.
Hence, worst dream ever.
Friday, May 13, 2011
My Car:
I've been meaning to buy a car for a while. Really, the only reason that I hadn't ever bought on is because I don't actually need a car on a daily basis. And, the fact that--despite my ability to pay for a car--I can't technically afford to own a car.
Those are both really good reasons for not buying a car if you ask me. However, I'm getting old and old people need cars (whether or not they actually use them or can afford them). So I bought a car.
It's a good car. And, that's all I have to say about that.
Those are both really good reasons for not buying a car if you ask me. However, I'm getting old and old people need cars (whether or not they actually use them or can afford them). So I bought a car.
It's a good car. And, that's all I have to say about that.
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