Dimes:

It seems like every week I find a dime laying on the ground somewhere new in my apartment. Since I never pick up the dimes when I find them, and only devote marginal amounts of attention to said dimes, I have no idea whether there is actually a plethora of dimes minding their own business laying the floor in various rooms in my apartment, or if there is really just one dime that's been getting around the last couple of months.

My guess is that there is just one dime, that nobody picks up, and yet somehow manages to migrate throughout the apartment. If this is the case, the dime has traveled through the kitchen, living room, at least one of the bedrooms, a bathroom, and has even gone as far as making it into one of the showers (not in that exact order). Sadly, the dime seems to have finally given up on trying to get somebody to pick it up off of the floor. After its brief visit to the shower, it apparently became suicidal and decided to condemn itself to sitting next to the toilet, unforgivably close to the plunger.

It'll most likely stay there until our next cleaning check, as I don't think anybody in my apartment will have the mercy to save the dime from its current state of misery and uncleanliness.

Facts of Life:

1. I've come to the conclusion that I really just don't like blogging at this stage in my life. That said, I'm not remotely opposed to posting things on blogs when it strikes me as a worthwhile thing to do.

2. I can be an extremely manipulative person. I've known this for ages, but I normally don't worry about it. Under normal circumstances, I have no desire to manipulate people. It's just not interesting to me. Under abnormal circumstances, I'm very willing to manipulate the crap out of people. (Literally, I can convince the poop right out of them...)

Normally, in the abnormal situations, I'm not actually trying to achieve anything through my manipulations besides maximizing the potential for amicable feelings--amongst everyone involved--at the end of an interaction. This is accomplished primarily by me being completely aware of how other people are most likely to react to anything I do or say. Then, I act accordingly.

As far as I can tell, most people try to do this most of the time. They just aren't any good at it. Because--in these situations--I'm not actively trying to control people for my exclusive benefit (or at the expense of their benefit), I don't worry about it too much.

Sometimes, however, I control situations for my own selfish reasons. Then, I feel guilty and proud at the same time. And, then I get over it.

Mormon Swears:

When I was a child and first became aware of random four (and three) letter words that I wasn't supposed to say, I was also aware that there were more swear words that I didn't know. The only thing that I knew about them was that they had more than four letters in them and that they were words that I hadn't yet learned. I was also given the distinct impression that they were at least marginally more offensive than the shorter words that I knew.

Years later, I started encountering some of those longer swear words. And, as I did, I recognized them as the fabled words that I had heard about when I was kid.

However, I've found over the last five years or so, that most people I know don't consider them swear words. They are fully aware that the words are inappropriate, yet they seem convinced that the words are still acceptable to use from time to time.

It kind of confuses me. It's almost like everybody just assumes that since we didn't learn the words when we were in elementary, along with the three and four letter swear words, that it's okay to say them.

It's not okay. So stop it.

PS. One of the words--which has become slang for a male who manifests his masculinity in undesirable ways--can't actually be used without the word instantly applying to the person using it.

Characters:

There are a lot of topics that I'm not allowed to discuss with people, simply because the societal rules under which I'm bound don't allow it.

This is one of them:

There are a number of fictional characters which possess a number of personality traits in common with me. I find these similarities horribly interesting, and am of the opinion that most people would find them insightful. Unfortunately, I am not normally able to discuss them.

But, today, I'm going to do it anyway. Or, at least, I'm going to list some of them (the list is in no sense comprehensive).

1. Sylar (Heroes).
2. Dr. House (House).
3. Mr. Darcy (Pride and Prejudice).
4. Monk (Monk).

None of these characters are particularly admirable. However, each of them reminds me of myself, to some degree. And, that's all I have to say about that.

Meals:

I believe in eating meals in sequential order. It doesn't matter what time the meals are eaten, or what food is consumed. Merely the order.

The first thing I eat, is always breakfast. Never mind if the first thing I eat is eaten at three in the afternoon, or if I happen to have a bowl of ramen noodles (or candy). It's still breakfast.

The second meal is always lunch. Even if I have it at 11:30 in the morning, or 5:30 in the evening. Lunchiness is a product of a meal's ordinal location in a meal schedule, not in a meal's proximity to the noon hour.

Similarly, an "afternoon snack" is characterized by it's location between lunch and dinner. It doesn't matter how much is eaten, or what time of day it is. Merely that it is eaten between lunch and dinner.

Dinner is eaten after lunch, usually (but not always) after an afternoon snack.

Food eaten after dinner is a little bit more complicated. If the food is in the form of a "traditional" meal, than it is Dinner #2. If it is not a traditional meal, than it is dubbed an "after dinner snack." After dinner snacks include all types of food (desserts or non-desserts).

In the event that even more food is consumed after an after dinner snack (or Dinner #2), it becomes yet more complicated. If the extra food resembles a "traditional" meal, and is preceded by Dinner #2, than it is Dinner #3. If Dinner #2 has not get been eaten, than the meal is designated Dinner #2 (even if an after dinner snack has already been eaten).

If the food constitutes a snack and not a meal, than it is an after dinner snack. If an after dinner snack has already been eaten, than this second snack is considered a continuation of the first snack (unless Dinner #2 was consumed between the two snacks, then the second snack is rightfully labelled an After Dinner Snack #2).

The system continues on indefinitely. In the event that I pulled an all-nighter, food consumption labeling would continue in the Dinner #""/After Dinner Snack #"" pattern until I went to sleep.

Before you try to tell me that this system is ridiculous, unnecessary, illogical, or otherwise complicated, let me remind you: I am an American. That means I can do whatever I want, and call it whatever I want. And, that's just a fact of life.

Umbrellas:

So, I bought an umbrella the other day. And, to be entirely honest, I'm rather ashamed about it. You see, buying an umbrella (let alone using one) is a sin against my Northwest Washington nature. It goes against everything I believe in, and may even qualify as an act of high treason.

It rains a lot in Washington. And, we deal with it. Outdoor activities are rarely scheduled counting on good weather. In fact, outdoor activities are rarely canceled due to rain. Rain is simply a fact of life.

People in Washington don't actually use umbrellas. Most of the time, we don't even use hoods when it's raining. It rains. People get wet. And, we get over it.

However, Washington rain is very drizzly. Every now and then we'll get a good downpour, but it is extremely uncommon. When it drizzles, it takes a considerable amount of time to actually get noticeably wet when being exposed to the rain. When it pours, we tend to just get soaked. The fact that an umbrella could have kept us dry is entirely irrelevant. We just don't use them.

But, now I find myself living in Provo. It takes me about twenty minutes to walk to school. Under normal conditions, I would have no problems with getting soaked on my way to school when it's raining. However, I also go to church on campus.

I have minor problems with getting soaked while I'm wearing a suit, on my way to church. So I bought an umbrella.

And, now I feel like a traitor.

Fears:

I find that I have a perfectly rational fear of people believing that my actions are motivated by irrational impulses.