If you look for it, the internet is full of inspirational quotes and pictures and videos. More often than not, those quotes and pictures and videos are passed around, hopefully, by people who feed on them like crack. Crack that makes them feel inexplicably good inside.

The practice of passing around large volumes of media that is intended to be inspirational bothers me. Not because I have a problem with inspiring messages. And, definitely not because I have a problem with inspiring people.

I have a problem with people who use inspirational messages for a momentary, drug-like high.

You see, inspirational messages can make you feel good. Their effects are instantaneous. But, inspirational messages are intended to be more then a quick fix to take the edge off of life.


If you pass around feel good messages to make yourself feel better--or in an effort to make others feel better--you have missed the point.

Inspirational messages are meant to inspire. They are meant to change people. To encourage people to live a higher life than the one that they are currently living.

And, frankly, those changes can't be made if a person is too busy sifting through high volumes of inspirational content (or pictures of kittens) looking for a desperately needed pick-me-up. Changes made one at a time. With focus and determination. And dedication.

As the Avett Brothers so carefully urge, "Decide what to be, and go be it."

And, as Harvey Danger warns, "You die by what you live by."

If you live by fluff, you will die by fluff.

So, choose your inspiration carefully. Let it sink deeply into your soul. And, go do something about it.

As I've traveled through life, I've come to a certain realization: though I may be quite good at flying by the seat of my pants, I am not so good at landing afterward. 

It seems that "flying" by the seat of my pants, though enjoyable (and necessary much of the time), is almost always followed by "falling" by the seat of my pants. And, though falling is significantly easier than flying, falling by your pants' seat, gracefully, is next to impossible.

1. Every time that I think to myself, "If Utah stayed this green all year long and never got any hotter than this, I would complain a lot less," it gets hotter (within a matter of minutes).

2. I have decided that after I graduate next Spring, I want to go work at Disneyland for the Summer. Yes, I've been told by friends who have done the Summer "Internship" at Disneyland that it the actual jobs are awful...but I figure, if I'm going to have an awful job for a few months, I might as well be working and living at Disneyland.

Also, will I actually do it? Nope. So, really, who cares how awful it would be if I actually did it? I sure don't. And, dang it, I want to work at Disneyland.

3. BYU really needs to host a giant, campus-wide party for students and faculty on the Monday after Women's Conference. Because, face it, we're all partying (in our own ways) to celebrate the departure of all the upper-middle-aged women that had temporarily invaded campus, anyway. We might as well combine our individual partyings and make it official.

4. As much as I dislike taking classes during Spring/Summer, it beats the pants off of whatever else I'd [realistically] be doing if I weren't going to school full time.

Some Thoughts on Life:

1. I'm not very good at being landlocked. For some reason, not living next to the ocean adds unnecessary stress to my life.

2. As I mention frequently, I'm not very good with living in deserts. Normally I attribute my dislike of deserts to the heat (because that's primarily where my dislike arises from), but I think, at times, it has also has a lot to do with the lack of constantly being surrounded by a forest. Forests are as important to me as cool weather, overcast skies, oceans, and seagulls.

3. I don't think girls fully appreciate how hard it is for a guy to get a girl to talk to him, by herself, so that he can ask her on a date without the unnecessary pressure (that would be put on her) of him asking her in front of other people.

4. I'm pretty sure every time I've ever asked a girl (who I was actually interested in at the time) on a date, I knew (beforehand) that she wasn't interested in me.

5. I'm also pretty sure that I have 25 years worth of poop jokes pent up inside of me, as I was far too mature of a kid to ever tell them when it would have been age appropriate. Instead, as 25 year old, I find myself telling poop jokes whenever somebody else, legitimately (and lightheartedly), brings up topic.

Journal Writing:

I decided a few months ago that I needed to start writing (for myself) more. So far, I've actually done quite well. I've been, somewhat, regularly been writing in my journal, writing essays (that I typically post on facebook) and even forced myself to post a few blog entries.

Though my blogging, as usual, has proven to be less than impressive, I'm actually rather proud of myself for finally getting back in the habit of writing in a (physical) journal--as well as with the quality of what I've been writing everywhere except on my blogs. No, that doesn't particularly help anybody who happens to read this particular post. But, it is what it is.

You are missing out, though. Sorry.

The Fray:

As I near my 25th birthday--amidst the mounting stress of getting my butt kicked both by school and by life--I am reminded that despondency is entirely unbecoming of a person anywhere near my age (a lesson I learned many years ago).

Yet, nearing my 25th birthday--and, having both school and life thoroughly kicking butt--I find myself ever more aware of the reality that as one ages, he only becomes more justified in being despondent.

Being fully aware of my own inadequacies and  my lack of control over entire facets of my life, it's not a matter of bucking up and working for the life I want. The life I "want" (i.e., a life with a lower butt-kicking to rewards ratio) cannot be worked for. The only way to increase the rewards of life through one's own efforts is to voluntarily expose oneself to more butt kicking (thus, having no real effect on the actual ratio of butt-kicking to rewards).

The options really are to lay down and die (metaphorically, of course), or to move on despite having no real hope that life will ever get less sucky.

Clearly, the latter is the better choice (and the choice that I choose). But, I'm currently having a problem seeing how moving on despite having no real hope that life will ever get less sucky is any different then (metaphorically) laying down and (metaphorically) dying.

Quitting is quitting, whether you're moving on or laying down. Despondency is despondency, whether you wear it on your sleeve or hide it under the bed.

Yes, life is sucky. And, yes, it's possible to look past the suckiness. And, yes, people should look past it. And, yes, I do look past it on a regular basis.

But, at the end of the day, there are some days (or weeks, or years) when the suckiness piles up and there is absolutely nothing you can do about it. And, sure, you can "look past it" but that doesn't change the fact that you're still surrounded by suckiness. Some of which is your fault, some of which isn't. And, most of which, you couldn't get rid of if you tried.

Not that I'm being despondent. Because that would be unbecoming of me.

Sometimes life is just hard.

Stress:

Stress makes me extremely grouchy. And, boring. And, an awful blogger.